I Will Follow You into the Dark
by X.Brandon.Hawkex
Summary: Forks used to be my own personal hell, an unnecessary torture forced upon me every summer. But after taking permenant residence there I came to see that I was wrong, it was in fact Heaven on Earth. Or was it just that Edward made Forks more bearable? AH
1. Prologue: The Blackest of Rooms

**AN:  
After procrastinating for a long time, I've actually decided to post a story. The title of the story is from the song, of the same title, by Death Cab for Cutie. I highly recommend you listen to the song if you haven't heard it already, it will give you an idea of where I'm going with the story, because I must warn you that this is not going to have a happy ending. Which really sucks of me, I know, I hate it too. But it was something I felt I had to do, so before you all come after me with sharp objects I'm just going to say I apologise profusely beforehand. And yeah, I'm aware that you have no idea what I'm on about =)  
Any questions, critique, or just general comments please don't hesitate to hit me up, I'm a pretty friendly gal and wanna hear anything you gotta say. Unless it's the whole coming after me with pitchforks thing, because I'd just rather run away and hide under a rock for that bit....**

**Disclaimer: Twilight owns me.**

_Prologue_

Countless times I had been here, some for long periods of time, other times I had merely passed through. Countless visits, and yet, there was not a place that had ever looked more alien to me.

The smells were the same, the colours were the same and the sounds were the same.

Except it all felt so very, _very_ wrong.

Perhaps it was the fact that I had never seen the room this way before, after all people are always telling me that a change of perspective can make all the difference.

But somehow I didn't believe that to be the case.

It was all so completely wrong.

It was all the same, I knew that. But the colours seemed duller. The smells were actually offensive, leaving a bitter aftertaste in the back of my throat. The sounds. The sounds were deafening.

_Bleep. Bleep. Bleep._

I could hear nothing else, but I wished for it to never stop. For if it did, then I knew the bottom of my world would fall out and I wouldn't even care to hold on.

Sighing I shifted my gaze from the dull grey wall and onto the place I normally occupied whilst in this room. The sight that lay before me caused my breath to hitch and my heart to flutter.

I had captured the gaze of an angel.

A beautiful, awe inducing angel.

The angel's face lit up as our eyes met and the corners of his perfect lips turned up into a small grin. I took his hand into my own and suddenly the room looked less alien. Colours brightened, smells were more pleasant and I was blissfully ignorant of the previously deafening sounds.

I held his gaze for a second longer before raising myself from the chair and reaching to drop a kiss onto his clammy forehead. Hovering a second longer, just relishing in the feel of his skin against my own.

The angel sighed happily, and I pulled away to meet his eyes once again.

"Morning Edward," I cooed gently, "Did you have a good rest?"


	2. A OneWay Ticket to Hell, Please

**AN:  
So chapter one. It's short, I'm sorry, but chapters will get longer. I'm also not sure whether to do all of this story in Bella's POV, and then write it again in Edward's POV or whether to put both POV's in this story. I'm unsure as to which option suits the story best, I'm hearing it all from Bella, but Edward keeps wanting to put in his two cents. So I'd really appreciate some feedback on that.  
Oh, I didn't mention in the prologue, but this is all completely un-betaed. All mistakes are mine, well except spelling mistakes, if there any then that's all the fault of my word processor. Everything else I blame on some serious insomnia induced exhaustion.  
Any critique, comments, or just general chat in the form of reviews is always appreciated.  
**

**Disclaimer: Twilight owns me. And my soul, which I would like back at some point.**

A One-Way Ticket to Hell, Please.

When people are asked to describe hell the general response includes fire, dungeons and little men with pitchforks. If, however, you were to ask me to describe hell I would tell you to look for a small town in the Olympic Peninsula. A small town with the highest volume of rainfall in the US, going by the name of Forks. Hell is not all fires, dungeons and pitchfork wielding midgets. It's lush green forests, endless rain and a population of 3,192. One of those inhabitants being Chief Charlie Swan. Or as he kept insisting I called him, Dad.

Every summer, since the divorce of my parents when I was 4, I had been sent from the endless heat and sun of Phoenix, to the eternal downpour of Forks. Each of those holidays had been filled with boredom, waterproof clothing, and many fishing trips that I had tried rather hard to repress in my memory. The only consolation of these 5 torturous weeks had been the knowledge that nestling happily in my bedside table was my return ticket.

Only this time I would be making the trip without that knowledge. My ticket was strictly one-way and my stay in Forks was that of a permanent nature.

_I briefly wandered what would happen if I locked myself in the bathroom when I got on the plane, and refused to come out once it landed._

Permanent residence in Hell, yep, I was officially suicidal. But I knew that this was for the benefit of three other people, so I would just have to suck it up and make the best of my time there. If that was at all possible. After all, I supposed, I was halfway through my junior year, so it wouldn't be too much longer until I could graduate high school and hightail it to a college as far from Forks as possible. Hawaii sounded pretty good to me.

"Sweetie?"

I was torn from my thoughts by my mothers voice, and realised with a start that we were at Gate 4 of the airport. The last I remembered we were in the car and pulling out of our drive.

I felt arms wrap themselves around my shoulders and I was assaulted by the scent of lavender, vanilla and fresh laundry. Renee's own personal perfume. It was then I noticed she was emitting soft sobs, and her shoulders were shaking.

"Oh Mom," I sighed, wrapping my arms around her soft torso, "It's not like you'll never see me again."

I felt her nod against my shoulder before she pulled herself away, trying to pull herself together. She smiled apologetically at me before frowning and fretting over the small black marks on the shoulder of my white blouse from her mascara. Rolling my eyes I reminded her that it was hardly like I would ever get to wear the flimsy, gauzy garment again, given Forks' climate. The corners of her mouth tugged up briefly in response.

"Last chance, Bells, You really don't have to go," Renee whispered.

Once again my resolve wavered, just as it had every time she'd said this since I'd told her of my decision to leave Phoenix. But this was for her. Her, Phil and Charlie. I couldn't, no, I _wouldn't_ go back on my choice now.

I turned my attention to Phil and giggled as he pulled me in for a massive bear hug.

"Gunna miss ya, Doll face," He told me as he set me back down. It struck me then just how much I would miss him, sure he'd only been in my life for a relatively short time, but I loved him no less than if I had known him all my life. I could feel the tears threatening again, so I decided to try and lighten the mood.

"Miss ya too, Poppa Bear," I winked at him as he rolled his eyes and snickered at me.

We bumped fists and snickered once again. Renee pulled me in for another hug, and with that I was on my way to the terminal away from my loving, erratic, harebrained mother; my fun, caring, big bear of a step father. Away from the dry sweltering heat and on my way to Charlie, quiet, reserved Police Chief of Hell.


	3. That's Incentive

**AN: Sooo I got my first review! Fuck. YEAH! Which kind of reminded me that I was writing a story. Yeah...I forgot...I'm an idiot like that. But new chapter. Kind of lame actually, it's not really action packed, I'm building here m'kay...just give it time. I'll update again in a bit probably, I seem to have the bug right now.  
**

**Disclaimer: Death Cab for Cutie and Twilight go halfsies on ownership of my soul. If I don't even own my own soul, how would you expect me to own the rights to this shit? Exactly! I don't. Moving on..**

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That's Incentive

It was the early morning breeze that awoke me.

Really, I have no idea why I had even opened my window. Maybe it was a subconscious suicide attempt. Death by the common cold.

Glancing at my alarm clock I noted that it was a fairly reasonable time to get up. I was not usually an early riser, but ever since my arrival in Forks, my waking hour had become much earlier.

Rubbing my face with my hands I contemplated the day ahead. I had already determined that it would be pure torture. I wanted nothing more than to just curl up under my duvet with a tub of Ben and Jerry's and just hide from the world. I had no desire to leave my cocoon. But, alas, it wasn't an option. For today was my first day at Forks High.

Oh the joy.

Charlie had informed me on my first night here, over dinner at Forks' one and only diner, that he'd already enrolled me and that I'd be thrown to the dogs as soon as the weekend was over. I wonder if he realised he'd just handed me my death sentence over steak and cobbler.

With a sigh, I dragged my protesting body to the bathroom. A long, warm shower was in order. If I was going down, I was going to do it smelling pretty. My morning routine never lasted very long, I wasn't the kind of girl to wear make-up or spend ages on my hair. It was literally; shower, brush teeth, pick out the first outfit that comes to hand and cross my fingers and hope to look relatively decent.

Besides, who would waste the effort on this place?

Charlie was already at the table when I got downstairs, his morning coffee in hand. I smiled at him in greeting before diving into the pantry and breaking open the brand new box of Pop Tarts. Turning back to the table I noticed Charlie's eyes upon me, his moustache twitching in a obvious sign of discomfort.

"What's up, Dad?" I rolled my eyes at his feigned innocent expression, "Spit it out, you're doing the twitching thing, it's creepy." I giggled internally as his eyed narrowed at me and he let out a small huff.

"Bells, uh, homecoming present," he muttered before sliding a set of keys towards me. Honestly, I was confused.

"Uh, Dad? I kind of already have a house key." I watched in bemusement as he cracked up with laughter. Unable to form a sentence, he merely pointed in the vague direction of the yard.

_Fuck me sideways and call me Jimmy._

I raced back into the house and stared at Charlie, knowing full well my jaw was practically hitting the floor.

"You didn't!" I squealed, rushing over to hug him. I could still feel his shoulders shaking with his laughter, I pulled back and cuffed him on the shoulder.

"I so did."

"I fucking love you, Dad!" My arms flew around his neck once more, before I grabbed the keys and hightailed it back out the front door, stopping on the porch to marvel at the sight before me.

Sitting in the driveway, happily minding it's own business, was a shiny, red Chevrolet pick up. There was not a vehicle in existence that could be more perfect for me. It was sturdy. It would withstand any mishaps I happened to get into. I loved it. Rusty bumper and all. I climbed into the cab and noticed a small post-it note on the steering wheel instructing me to double-pump the clutch. Biting my lip in anticipation, I turned the key in the ignition, waiting to hear my beast roar.

It sure as hell didn't disappoint. I engine wheezed to life with a rattling, grinding roar that filled me with uttermost satisfaction. Suddenly, the day ahead didn't look so bleak. Because after all, I was going to be pulling up in this bad boy, and I sure as shit couldn't wait to see the look on my hell mates faces!


	4. Title and Registration

**AN: Totally not where I was expecting this to go, but never mind...it's a bit of fun I guess. Very short. I just wanted to get it out. I'm just making shit up as I go along, seeing as we're not getting too much into the plot right now. Chapters will get longer though, but for now, it's almost 4 in the morning, I just wrote this shit...let's roll!  
Disclaimer: What I own; A iPod Touch which I ferverantly wish was an iPhone, a Vintage Johnson Electric guitar, and a cat that is almost the same length as me. What I don't own; A soul. Or Twilight. **

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Title and Registration

**_"Welcome to Forks High. Home of the Spartans!"_**

I wondered how many times the ever funny, 'this is Sparta!' had been called out in the playground.

But then I remembered that this is Forks and realised how unlikely it was.

"THIS IS SPARTAAAAAHHH!"

_Well shit. Go ahead and prove my thoughts wrong, why don't you!_

I turned in the direction of the voice, my eyes widening at the scene before me.

Pulling into the school entrance was a large, open topped, yellow jeep. A large, open topped, yellow jeep that was being driven by a blonde supermodel, what looked to be her twin brother in the passenger seat, and in the back stood the largest guy I had ever clapped eyes on. He was literally built like a bear. The jeep pulled in next to the silver Volvo that I had only just noticed, and the brawny guy leapt from the back with a huge battle cry.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Em!" The driver's door of the Volvo slammed, and I got a peek of what can only be described as a God. A pissed off looking God, but damn!

The blonde supermodel exited the jeep and cuffed 'Em' around the back of the head,.

"Do you remember our conversation earlier, Emmett?" The girl asked, her tone similar to that of a mother who didn't know whether to laugh or yell.

"Which one, baby girl?" Emmett leered at the blonde and she cuffed him again.

The God spoke up again.

"The same fucking conversation we have with you every time, Emmett!" I couldn't help but notice that, although the guy was pissed, he had the most beautiful voice. Velvety almost.

"Oh that conversation," Emmett answered, before affecting a silly high-pitched voice, "You must remember to not make a scene, Emmett. You have to make a good impression on all the boysies and girlsies at your new school, and you won't do that by acting childish." He dropped the high voice and rolled his eyes in an exaggerated manner.

Shit…did he say new school?

"Well hello there, Little Darlin'"

I jumped. I couldn't help it. I had been paying more attention to my thoughts than my surroundings. I suddenly found the blonde's twin to be standing next to me, his lips turned up in an amused smirk.

"Uh, Hey." Well aren't I Captain Eloquence!

My gaze flickered back to the jeep, but I found the other three to be gone, it was just me and the cowboy.

"I'm Jasper Hale, ma'am, and who might you be?" My lips quirked up in response to his, and I held out my hand.

"Bella Swan," I replied, grinning wider as he grasped my hand and planted a kiss upon my knuckles. " Cowboy" I muttered, and he chuckled. He slung his arm over my shoulders, and lead me to the office.

"I have a feeling that I'm going to like you, Bella Swan," Jasper drawled.

"I think you will too, Jasper Hale," I giggled. His smirk became a full blown grin as he shoved me through the doors.

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**AN: I dunno if I'll keep this scene...I kinda like it...but I kinda don't...meh. Review please, it would help my decision. :)**


	5. This Charming Man

**AN: I would have updated during the weekend, but I was busy working. Working and being acosted in warehouses. Always with the warehouse. Ergh. Anyway, another story for another time. The point is, what with work, and overly sexy friends being overly sexy and friendly in warehouses, I didn't update. So uh..sorry I guess.  
Longer chapter this time...I dunno if I like it, but then I've been unsure of everything but the prologue. It's less random than the last one, at least :) Oh also, I'm going to be putting up a playlist for this on my profile, and songs will be featuring in chapters more, there is a legit reason for them not featuring before now. **

**Disclaimer: I own too many articles of clothing/accesories/pairs of shoes which feature leopard print, an obsession with Hello Kitty, and a Tinkerbell outfit for my Hello Kitty from Build-a-Bear. But not Twilight. Or my soul. Shame that.**

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This Charming Man

_The God's eyes are green._

That was the first thought that registered in my brain as Jasper steered me into the office. He must have still been pissed over Emmett's antics, because his eyes were narrowed in contempt as he appraised me. At least, I hoped that was why he looked like he wanted to commit murder and make it look like an accident. Jasper must have noticed the look, as his arm dropped from my shoulders almost immediately. The trio had stopped their conversation with our entry, and the room was now deathly silent.

Awkward didn't even cover it.

I bit my lip, a typical nervous habit, as I shuffled my feet. Jasper, seeming to feel my tension, cleared his throat, and opened his mouth to introduce me.

"Guys, this here is Bella Swan, she's new too. Bella, these people are the coolest fuckers you'll ever meet," He winked at me, "The 'roid addict is Emmett, the blonde is my twin sister Rosalie and the uptight asshole is Edward."

Edward. The green eyed God was called Edward. I liked it. My sights fixed upon his form and I decided that it suited him.

"Bella, wait, are you Italian?" I stared at Emmett incredulously before shaking my head in the negative.

"Uh no, I just moved back from Phoenix, but I'm actually from here."

"Phoenix?" I noticed Rosalie look me up and down before frowning, "As in Arizona?" I nodded at her, biting my lip in apprehension, and she looked apologetic before asking, "I'm sorry, I just…you're very pale for someone who just came back from the desert." I smiled in response, and shrugged. I was saved from responding by the arrival of the school secretary, Mrs Cope. I couldn't help but notice how much she blushed while dealing with Edward, his bad mood seemed to have lifted slightly and he afforded her kind efforts with a panty-dropping grin. It was crooked, one side of his lips quirked higher than the other, his eyes crinkling slightly as the edges. It was perfect. I wanted to jump him on the desk.

_Wait…what?_

I wanted to jump him?

Fuck. Of course I did. He was utter perfection.

The other three were very good looking, almost disturbingly so. Barbie would be jealous of Rosalie's looks, Emmett was cute with his curls and dimples, and Jasper was ruggedly handsome with his fair complexion and crystal blue eyes.

But Edward.

Wow.

His every pore just oozed sex. He was tall and lean, but his clothes alluded to the muscles rippling underneath his perfectly porcelain skin. I couldn't help but notice how his black skinny jeans clung to the most perfect ass in existence. His face was stunning. A jaw line you could cut diamonds with, high cheekbones, a perfect nose, full and slightly pouting lips. And those eyes. My earlier labelling of 'green' was just insulting. They were a perfect shade of jade, and I had a sneaking suspicion that were I to look closer, I would find flecks of gold through them. Then there was the hair.

Holy crap, the hair.

I decided there and then, that there should be a temple built for the sheer purpose of worshipping that hair.

The only way I could really describe it was if I said that Edward looked like he'd just dragged himself out of bed and he'd be going back there very soon. With you.

I hadn't even known that Bronze was a legitimate hair colour.

I had to stop looking at the hair. All I could think about is how much I wanted to run my fingers through it, I wanted to know if it was as soft as it looked. I wanted to feel it tangled in my fingers as I bounced up and down on his-

_Whoa._

When the hell did I turn into a hormonal, horny teenager?

I shook the thoughts from my head and smiled at Mrs Cope as she handed me my schedule and a school map. She wished us all good luck for our first day and we filed out of the office. This time it was Emmett's arm slung over my shoulder.

"So, how's everyone's schedules looking up?" He asked, trying to peer over my shoulder at mine. We all compared schedules and I couldn't help but shiver at the thought of spending Music and Biology with Edward. I had English with Rosalie, History and French with Jasper, Gym and Maths with Emmett. I couldn't help but feel better that I knew at least one person in most of my classes. It would make this first day much more bearable.

Even better was that Music was first period.

_Music with Edward._

Yay!


	6. Debate Exposes Doubt

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AN: Howdy! So 3 people have this on alert! I'm pretty happy about that. Uhh I kinda hate this chapter, it feels disjointed and awkward, I'll probably change it once I'm sober and coherant. But for now, just be aware that I do know what I'm doing, and there is a point. Even if I'm too pissed to actually make this flow. Um...Just wanting to say thanks to Starrynytex for the fact that she always leaves nice reviews, is writing a stroy that I'm currently addicted to, and is generally pretty cool.

**  
Disclaimer: Things I own: A now empty wine box, very sore fingers from 3 hours of jamming on the Lecci Guitar and a much needed ceiling fan. Things I don't own: Twilight, a verbal filter, Death Cab for Cutie, or my soul.**

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Debate Exposes Doubt

To say the walk to the music building was awkward, would be a gross understatement.

Although Edward walked beside me, he made me very aware that he wasn't exactly happy about it. Choosing to place himself as far away from my body as the crowd would allow, a scowl etched across his beautiful features, and his hands balled in fists at his sides. I didn't even bother trying for small talk, the murderous look he bestowed upon me when I opened my mouth was enough to tell me that my words were not welcome.

I wanted to know what the hell his problem was.

**

"Emmett! Put me down!" I squealed, giggling madly as he spun around and roared with laughter.

"Nope. Not until you take it back."

"I'm not taking it back. Nobody needs to eat two hamburgers, fries and 3 slices of pizza."

"Fine," I didn't need to see his evil grin to know it was there, "I'm not letting you down."

I whined pathetically, flailing uselessly against his back. I heard chuckling somewhere to my left and saw Jasper shaking his head in amusement. He walked over and patted my shoulder.

"One day, Bella, you will know to never question anything that Emmett does. To know the reasons behind his actions would just break your fragile little mind." He chuckled again before heading off in the direction of an empty table in the corner.

I was soon rescued by Rosalie and was allowed to buy my lunch. I kicked out the seat beside Jasper and punched him in the arm, indicating to him that his assholery was just not cool. He stuck his tongue out at me and we proceeded to bicker childishly.

Our banter was loudly interrupted by Edward pushing back in his chair, standing up and throwing his fist down on the table. I was fairly sure that the whole cafeteria had turned around to watch him and see where this outburst lead. His piercing gaze fell upon me and he let out a noise that sounded suspiciously like a snarl.

"Fucking pathetic," he growled out, "You do realise that he has a girlfriend right? Both of them do," He indicated both Emmett and Jasper, "They both had girlfriends, and yet you can't keep your hands off them you -"

I had no idea what his next words were going to be as he was cut off by Jasper throwing himself out of his own chair and giving Edward a hard stare.

"I think that's plenty enough, Edward," He ground out, his voice eerily calm. I watched as a muscle twitched in Edward's jaw, his fury perfectly obvious. Seeing his anger only triggered my own, the initial shock wearing off, and my hands shook in my lap.

No, Jazz," My eyes didn't leave Edward's as I spoke to Jasper, "Let's hear him out shall we. I want to hear exactly the nature of this stick that Edward clearly has shoved up his ass." Edward's scowl became even more prominent as he regarded me. "Well?" I prompted, "You were just about to tell me what a slut I am right?"

"I was going to say whore actually."

I scoffed, "Oh, wow, I apologise. Inform us about what a whore I am." He sneered at me before looking away, his gaze resting on Jasper, who was shaking in his rage. Emmett and Rosalie seemed stuck in the same state of shock that had gripped the cafeteria.

"I watched as Jasper turned on his heel before throwing a scowl over his shoulder, "You know what, Edward?" He sneered, "Fuck. You."

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**Yeah...definately not happy with it, and yes, it's real short. I'll do better in the morning...or afternoon...probably afternoon with the hangover I'm undoubtably going to have. Uh...leave me some lovin' please?**


	7. Little Fury Bugs

**AN: OMG! I know!! I fail at life! I did mean to update this, but RL kept kicking my ass! Plus, all my college buddies have finally finished and it's all partying, going to the pubs, suffering our hangovers together at Waffles….y'know…pretty much reliving college life…but at home.  
****Onwards; I know I've thanked you before, but props to Starrynytex to pimping this out! You're the reason I got a shitload of email notifications on fave/alert ads!  
I'm still unhappy with the previous chapter, but I'm leaving it alone, I hit a block while trying to think of how to change and improve it. The fun and twists are starting from here…Also, I wrote a lemony, Dirty Talking Dr Edward Cullen One-shot called 'The Eton Rifles'. I'd appreciate if you could read and leave some feedback. After all, it's a little practice for the future of this fic ;)**

**Disclaimer: I own a certain Californian Construction Workers soul, but unfortunately not my own one, or Twilight. Suckssss.**

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Little Fury Bugs

The hush of the cafeteria lifted as soon as Jasper stormed from the room, the air suddenly buzzing with the furious whispers of our peers.

I paid them no attention.

My body was buzzing with fury, adrenalin infused my blood and I was filled with confusion and horror from what had just happened. I could make no sense from it. What the hell had possessed Edward to believe that he could cuss me out like that? And more importantly, where exactly did he his ideas from? I searched his face for any kind on answers, but only found cold, hard hatred. The muscle in his clenched jaw was still twitching, and even though I was seething at him, there was a small, hormone-filled part of me that just wanted to lick it.

But I digress.

We were still locked in our staring match when Emmett's large fist connected with the table, resulting in another huge bang.

"Enough of this." His voice was low, and filled with calm yet icy fury. It wasn't Edward's sneering growls, or Jasper's uncontrolled yells, but it was equally as scary. My eyes broke away from Edward's and I let my gaze fall onto Emmett. Gone was the easy, infectious smile and cute dimples. The sparkle in his eye had been extinguished. Instead his features were arranged into the ultimate cold, hard poker face. "Edward," He regarded his brother, "You will sit the fuck down, take some breaths to clear your head and then apologise to Bella. You know that what you said is untrue and despicable." Edward made to interrupt but Emmett cut him off quickly, "No. You will follow through with what I just told you and realise just how irrational you are being. Enough, Edward."

My gaze flickered back to Edward. He looked like he wanted to punch Emmett, and then yell some more, but instead he sat back down. I felt like an idiot being the only one standing so I followed suit. Rosalie caught my eye, she offered me a hesitant smile and slid her open palm across the table toward me. The small but sweet gesture caused all the anger to melt away from me, leaving only horror and confusion. I slipped my fingers through hers and returned the smile.

"Edward?"

"No Emmett, fuck you."

I felt Rosalie squeeze my hand a little as I looked back towards Edward. His gaze burned into the table top, his whole body screamed tension and he appeared to be shaking a little. That was when I felt the first flash of concern.

Memories of the whole day flashed through my brain, each one confusing me more and more. Meeting his gaze in the parking lot, the change in his demeanour when I walked into the office with Jasper, his furtive looks at Emmett's arm slung over my shoulders when we compared schedules this morning, how tense and awkward we were each time we found ourselves alone. I had no idea what to think. His reaction had not been normal in any way.

"Bella." The velvet softness had returned to his voice and his eyes had faded from the vengeful emerald, to the soft, sparkling jade. He cleared his throat and I nodded to show I was listening. "Bella, I don't like the way you were acting around my brothers, you were overly friendly towards them even though you do not know them and I found that to be disrespectful to Rosalie and Alice. I will admit that I conducted myself in the wrong manner, I should not have lost my temper and called you a whore, it was not necessary. For that only, I shall apologise."

I couldn't help it. I sat there, mouth agape, and could not find any way to answer him. My rational, non hormone driven side knew that I should be offended by his serious misunderstanding of my intentions and try to put him right. Only that was utterly hindered by my irrational hormone fuelled side, which was pretty much having an orgasm over his beautiful lilting, velvet voice.

Instead it was Rosalie that spoke up next.

"You're a dick, Edward." I snapped out of my lustful thoughts in shock, "You found it disrespectful to me and Alice? What a crock of shit! You have never cared about whether some skank was flirting with Em or Jazz in the past, but Bella comes along ad suddenly you blow up. She wasn't even flirting, Dickwad!"

I totally fell in love with her about then. Rosalie Hale was a fucking sexy bitch, and dammit she was kicking Edward's ass for me. If it wasn't for Emmett, I'd so be on that!

"Rosalie,"

"No, Edward.""For fuck sake!"

"I said no."

"But-"

"Fucking no, alright! You listen to me, Jasper came to Bella. It wasn't the other way around, she didn't drape herself all over him and proceed to hump his leg. Emmett was the one that started his typical Emmett behaviour. Bella started nothing. Bella did not flirt. Bella does not deserve to be yelled at, humiliated and called a whore by some jumped up prat."

I expected WW4 to break out, for Edward to start yelling again and the whole cafeteria to be blown up. What I didn't expect was for him to drop his head into his hands in shame before looking back at me with an expression filled with repentance.

"You're right, Rose." He sighed, rubbing his hands over his face before regaining eye contact with me. "Bella, I am a complete douche bag. I am sorry, I just-" He cut off, seeming to struggle for the words, "I get irrational, and see things wrong sometimes. It's no excuse, but I really am sorry."

I found nothing insincere in his expression, he looked genuinely sorry. My hand ran through my hair before resting somewhere in the region of my forehead.

"I'm not going to say that it's okay Edward, because that was fucked up, but I do forgive you."

||~~*-_-*~~||

"Hey mom."

"How was school baby? Were the teachers okay? Were the kids nice to you? Any cute boys? Oh tell me that there were cute boys!"

"Mom! Seriously, one question at a time! School was school, the teachers are douches just for existing, the kids were typical small town kids, and well, you told me to tell you that there are cute boys so there you go."

"Belllllaaaaaaaaaa!"

"Fine! I'm not the only new kid there, there are four more kids just moved here. For the most part they're pretty great. All insanely good looking. Three of them are male. Now, as much as I love you, douchebaggery happened and I have homework to complete."

"No! You can't leave it there! What are their names! Which guy is cutest? What do they look like? What do you mean 'for the most part'?"

"Goodnight mom."

"Bel-"

I hung up before she could protest any more. I didn't have any homework it was merely an excuse, Charlie was on night shift tonight so I didn't have to cook dinner, and all I wanted to do was curl up in bed and sleep.

Only now I was being assaulted by memories and thoughts of the four new people in my life, and all the drama that had occurred today.

Edward had been perfectly civil after our cafeteria blow out. He had happily made small talk with me on the way to biology, been graceful about the fact that we were to be lab partners for the rest of the school year and actually cracked out a smile. As nice as it was to have the Captain of the Fuck-Me-Now crew actually be reasonable towards me, I couldn't help but be unnerved in the abrupt change in his demeanour. It made me worry when he would next throw a tantrum and cuss me out for no real reason and I didn't really care for it.

A text flashed up on my mobile, the display told me it was from Renee.

_'I dnt apprec8 u hngn up on me. Wnt pix of hottie 2mro!'_

I sighed at her blasphemous text speak before tapping out a reply. Flicking off my bedside lamp, I rolled onto my side and snuggled under the comforter. After all, if I was going to have to deal with Edward then I was going to have to be at the top of my game. I needed all the rest I could get.

* * *

**AN: La la laa…it makes no sense now…but it will! ;)  
Slightly longer! Which is good! I said once the drama started the chapters would grow! I'd appreciate some reviews, I know that there are rather a lot of you that have this on alert, and some feedback would be great. Doesn't matter how long it is or whatever, just a little one saying hi and whether or not you are enjoying this would be great!**

**Until next time guys!**


	8. The Sound of Settling

**AN: So…I hit a bit of a block. It seems the tale I've been telling is not the tale I originally planned for. It was meant to be one of 'Kim's tales of woe' and somehow has had an orgy with another of KTOW, which has in term spawned a complete explosion of WTF in my head. So I bummed about trying to decide whether to discipline the shit out of my wayward mind and tell it to quit fucking with plans or just go with it and see how it all goes down. Option 1 sounded like too much work, so I'm changing up the ending a little, not much, I mean it's still going to make you all want to hack me up with rusty spoons, but not as bad as the original plan would have. I will be writing up the original plan, because dammit I need that demon aired already! But just not here. Here I'm airing this pesky little demon, even though it's all weird!**

**And yes, I'm aware you all think I'm on crack now! But whatever.**

**I've also been delaying the shit out of this because my fuckhot , Californian homeboy totally told me he loves me on Saturday night and we've been a totally sickening pile of mush ever since. It's gross, I wanna slap myself for being such a girl, but fuck it. I'm happy as hell! Just letting y'all know so you can be jealous or happy for me…whatever floats your boat!**

**Disclaimer: Screw you guys, why would I even wanna own Twilight…I mean it's not like I'd totally ditch Dan in favour of Edward Cullen or anything. -Sour grapes, much!-**

_Dan, if you ever find this; 1) GTFO off my laptop! 2) Why are you reading FF you girl! 3) I totes lied, I'd never ditch you for Edward or Robert Pattinson….ever….*cough*_

* * *

The Sound of Settling

The next few days were pretty awkward at school. Jasper had hardly spoken to anyone since Monday and kept shooting daggers at Edward with his eyes. Emmett kept his hands to himself around me, seemingly in fear of causing another cafeteria scene. Rosalie seemed permanently poised to cuff Edward around the ear if he put as much as a toe out of line. Not that she had to bother. Edward of the past few days was a completely different man to the one I met on Monday. This Edward had a smart and cutting remark ready for every situation, a loose and friendly posture and his beautiful crooked smirk placed upon his lips at all times.

The kid had to be bipolar or some shit. His epic change in demeanour was enough to cause me a serious headache, and I didn't particularly care for it.

I also had yet to meet this mysterious girlfriend of Jasper's. Edward had informed me that her name was Alice, and that she resembled a pixie, but that was all the information that I had been able to glean from him. I didn't push too hard though, we wouldn't want him getting suspicious and accusing me of things again now would we.

"Swanster!" I felt a long, muscled arm around my shoulders and was pulled into a hard, manly chest.

_Fuck me twenty ways into Tuesday!_

Edward Cullen was ripped!

And he smelt delectable.

Holy mother of hell!

I somehow managed to rein in the hormones that were screaming at me to push homie on the floor and jump on his dick, and return his greeting. The blinding smile he rewarded me with once I peeked up at him was enough to make my hormones rebel once again.

I untangled myself from his arms before I violated the poor boy and managed to control myself enough to flick him in the ear. He scowled at me and I poked my tongue out childishly.

"You're such a brat, Swan," He moaned, rubbing his ear and looking pretty darn adorable as his jutted out his bottom lip at me.

"Man up, Cullen," I retorted and marched ahead of him, on the way to the music building. I heard him snickering behind me and we fell into step with each other, him shortening his strides so my comparatively short legs could keep up with his.

"You're such a lanky streak of piss, Cullen," I whined up at him, earning myself an eye roll and a peek at his gloriously pink tongue as he stuck it out at me.

"We can't all be midgets, Swan" He retorted, ducking before I flicked him.

Mr Evans decided to let up with his boring-as-hell music theory lectures, and told us all that we had a practical lesson. It wasn't until then, that I realised that I hadn't asked Edward what he played. He must have had the same thought, as he turned to me with eyebrows raised.

"What'll it be, Swan?"

"Was gonna ask you the very same question, Cullen."

He smirked at me and gestured to the small upright piano in the back corner of the class room. I threw him a smirk of my own and left my seat, crossed the room, and placed myself upon the piano stool.

"What are you doing?" Edward's face was the picture of confusion as he regarded me and I decided to see if I could throw him off a little. I placed my hands on the keys, rolled my head to get the crick out of my neck and let the opening notes of Yiruma's piece 'Kiss the Rain' flow from my fingertips.

I got carried away playing the beautiful piece of music, and hadn't noticed Edward join me on the bench. I started at his close proximity, to which he smiled apologetically.

"You got skills, Swanster."

"Damn straight, Cullen," I replied, "I showed you mine," I raised my eyebrow in challenge. He made a 'pssh' sound at me before cracking his knuckles.

"I'll show you real skills, Swan, I'll make your skills wanna slit their wrists, my skills are that mad!" I snorted derisively and allowed him to go about his business.

As his fingers wove through the opening bars of Debussy's 'Clair De Lune' I felt chills go through my body. The kid was right, he really did have mad skills and mine felt rather pitiful in comparison. I couldn't tear my eyes off him as he played. His whole being was consumed in the music, his whole body conveying the passion he held for his art. It was a truly beautiful spectacle to behold.

The ending notes rang in the air around us, but neither of us made to move and no words needed to be said.

Edward had mad skills and dammit I had been owned.

But I wouldn't have had it any other way.

* * *

**AN: Uh…yet another short chapter…I dunno it kind of wrote itself and it felt right to end it there. Now I've sorted out the clusterfuck in my head I'll be shifting this out quicker, 'kay!**

**Review my pretties, even if it's to tell me how cracked out my AN was. Plus, it motivates me to update more!**


	9. Where the Lines Overlap

**AN: Ho-lee-shit. Okay…I actually fail at life. I know it's been like…a million years…since I updated. Life has been a complete c-nt to be honest with you all. I had swine flu in the summer, and it didn't seem to wanna go away and I ended up in hospital because of it. For those of you that believe that swine flu is just a government scam/load of bullshit can fuck right off, that shit hurts! Also, I got engaged…and then unceremoniously dumped 3 months after. Yeah, I've been pretty much a mess since. I've moved around a bit too, I moved from Mom's to my gay best friends house, then to Dan's and then back to Mom. Work has been a bit of a mess too. It's all just a bit shit. Anyway, enough moaning, I'm back (I think) and I thought 'well fuck it's been ages'. So…yeah…let's do this!**

**Disclaimer: I own a new iPod Touch (after I dropped mine in a sink by accident, and my iPod insurance company replaced it for me), several new scars from my sudden bout of clumsiness, and a very compromising video of aforementioned gay best friend. I don't, however, own Twilight. So piss to you all :)**

* * *

**Where the Lines Overlap**

It was Saturday morning, the rain had finally stopped and all I wanted to do was sleep. Only some asshole didn't seem to be able to understand that and kept insisting on banging on the door. After a solid ten minutes of the incessant banging, my cell started screaming Paramore's song _"Where the Lines Overlap"_ at me. I groaned loudly, knowing who was calling me, seeing as he'd been obsessed with the song all week and had obviously taken the liberty of changing his ring tone for me. I slid the offending gadget open and clicked the 'accept' button.

"Edward Cullen, you better be fucking dying."

"Get your lazy ass up and answer the pissing door, I'm fucking freezing."

I groaned and rolled over, "Better solution. Get the fuck away from my house and let me sleep."

"I have a rock, and I'm gonna smash your window in 3...2..."

"Fine! Fucking…two seconds…asshole."

I heard him giggling before I clicked the 'end' button and slide my cell shut. I rolled out of bed, catching myself before I smashed my face against the floor and slid my feet into my fluffy slippers. I pulled on my dressing gown and shuffled downstairs, cussing under my breath the whole time.

I undid the deadbolt and unlatched the door for Edward.

"No-one has the right to look so bright and shiny this early on a Saturday morning, Edward. Get the fuck out of my face."

Edward made a dramatic motion, acting out being stabbed in the heart, before sending me a heart stopping grin.

"Swan, gotta say…you look fucking beautiful," He dropped the 't' sound, in a very English way, just like he often did when teasing me. I gave him the finger and turned, stomping my way back into the hallway. I made my way to the stairs and was halfway up them before I heard Edward clearing his throat.

"What are you up to?"

I turned back to him, giving him the best 'duh' expression I could muster. "I'm going back to bed, asshole, make yourself comfortable, I'll see you in like…5 hours."

To my dismay he started climbing up the stairs. At my blatant 'wtf' expression he shrugged and explained, "Hey, I'm coming up too. I'm not passing up the opportunity to feel you up while you're unconscious and can't beat my ass."

I let out an aggravated huff and narrowed my eyes, "I'd know, Edward. And I'd kick your ass after I woke."

He winked at me and crooked the right corner of his mouth up, "Ahhh…but I'd be gone way before that. Sneak out the backdoor and all that."

I rolled my eyes and continued climbing the stairs, ignoring Edward's comments on the 'fine view' and instead of going to my room I made a sharp turn and ran in the bathroom. I quickly locked the door and smirked as his body thumped against the door. I heard him whining pitifully and decided to play with him a little.

"Hey Edward…I'm getting naked…and then I'm getting in the shower" I stifled a giggle as he let out a sound that reminded me of a puppy being denied a treat.

"Aw come on Swan, why would you even do that to me. Let me in."

I pulled off my tank top and threw it at the door, "There goes my top, and oh look, no bra!" He full on whimpered. "I'm taking off my shorts now, oh damn, no panties either. Such a bad girl Bella." I flung them at the door and full on giggled as it rattled as Edward banged on it.

"Swan. Unlock. The. Fucking. Door. Now."

He sounded like he was actually in pain, and I felt a little sorry for him, but also thrilled that I'd worked my sexy best friend up. I pressed my body against the door, knowing Edward would hear it, and he pressed his to it as well.

"Ya know, if it wasn't for this hunk of wood…you'd have me all naked and pressed up against you now."

"I'm ripping it off the hinges."

"Yeah, Charlie never liked this door anyway."

"In case you wonder what the wet patch on your pillow is, I'm jerking off on your bed in a minute. Just thought I'd warn you."

"You're disgusting. Can I watch?"

"You're twisted, Swan."

I cackled and told him to piss off and let me shower, at which he informed me that he was gonna hump Sammy Seal. I shook the image of Edward humping my bedraggled stuffed animal out of my head, and set the temperature for my shower.

Half an hour later, after a good shower and change of clothes, I found Edward sprawled out on my bedroom floor. I raised an eyebrow at him.

"What the eff are you doing down there?"

He smirked up at me before effecting an innocent expression, "I didn't feel like lying in my own spunk."

I let out a loud, porno-worthy moan, and cupped my boob. "Oh-em-Gee, I'm gonna touch myself while I lick my pillow tonight."

He sat up and ran his hand through his already tousled hair, "Do you have to always make me wanna rape the shit out of you? Fuck that was dirty hot."

I rolled my eyes before sliding down on the floor next to him, and then promptly reminded him that there had to be a reason he woke me up at suck an ungodly hour. It took him a moment or two to regain his composure, but then his eyes brightened and he smiled at me.

"So, Bella, you wanna meet Alice?"

* * *

**AN: So yeah...um...idk I'm drunk? Okay really drunk. I've gone through almost a whole bottle of JD, and apparently I have sex on the brain. And tbh...everything seems really funny atm. I thought some fun to make up for my shitty not updatingness.  
Oh and Yeahhh Where the Lines Overlap is probably my favourite song on Brand New Eyes! Listen to itttt! I'm seeing Paramore 14th December! Yayyyyyy!  
Anyhoo...some luvin would be dandy m'loves :)**

**xo**

**(Oh! The whole 'I'm gonna jerk off on your bed/face while you sleep/any other surface' 'you disgust me, can I watch' thing is a regular thing between me and GBF Matt. And Sammy Seal lives on my bed next to Helly Kitty and Syrel the Squirrel.)**


	10. Extraordinary Girl

**AN: Rawr. That is all. I'll ramble later.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight…blah blah blah…Twilight owns me…blah…blah…blah…I do own this storyline however so hand off bitchez. And I own this pot noodle…and this bottle of Jack Daniels (man I need to quit drinking!) and a obsession with full stops.**

* * *

**Extraordinary Girl**

_She's an extraordinary girl, in an ordinary world, and she can't seem to get away._

* * *

Did I wanna meet Alice?

The Alice?

The mysterious Alice I knew sweet FA about.

Hell yeah I wanted to meet her.

A random thought popped into my head, and I turned to the ass sitting next to me.

"Hey Edward, what's Alice's last name?"

He gave me a really weird look, like I'd just dribbled on my shirt or something before shaking his head and mumbling about me being a dumbass.

"Her last name is Cullen, Bella, Alice Cullen."

My eyes widened and I looked at him in utter shock.

"No. Fucking. Way. The Alice Cullen. As in…oh my God! But…wait," I looked at him my brows furrowed, "Fucking hell I knew your last name seemed familiar. She's related to you?"

Assward had cracked up laughing way before I'd finished speaking and was now hyperventilating. I watched as he held his sides and shook under the force of his amusement, his nose and the corners of his eyes crinkling in an adorable way. Which was something I was totally not meant to notice because I was pissed at him. Although, watching him kind of made me forget why. He was so beautiful. His laughter finally died down and his emerald eyes shone at me.

"Bella, The Alice Cullen," He did gay little quotation marks and imitated my voice, "Just so happens to be my twin sister."

I will not lie, I fucking gaped at him. Like a fish. I kid you not.

"Your twin."

"That's what I said."

"Your fucking twin."

"Yeah, Bella."

"You're telling me that Alice Cullen is your twin."

He stared at me, the whole 'you just drooled' look on his face again, and ran his hands through his hair in exasperation.

"Yes Bella, Alice Cullen is my twin. You know it's not that big a deal. Lot's of people have twins and-"

I cut him off. "But she's Alice Cullen! Oh my God! Are you psychic too? Oh, or do you do some other freaky shit? Fuck you're telepathic aren't you."

Edward was practically tearing chunks of his beautiful hair out as I rambled on.

"Yes she's my twin, no I'm not psychic, I don't think I have any other freaky shit going on, and no I'm not fucking telepathic. You're a freak you know that, Swan."

I swatted at his arm. "You're the one with the psychic twin. Jeez why did I get stuck with the boring twin?" I rolled my eyes at him playfully and he smirked.

"Look, Alice is home for a few days, do you wanna meet her or do you wanna yap about it for another few hours?" He raised his eyebrows expectantly. I grinned up at him and offered my hand.

"Come on then Doucheward, let's go meet the interesting twin." He stuck his tongue out at me before flouncing out of my room.

***

"Whoa shit! Is this your house?"

I was in shock. Again. That wasn't a house, there was no way on pissing Earth that was a house. I lived in a house, a perfectly respectable house. Edward lived in a…fucking hell…something I refused to refer to as a house that's for sure.

The dribbled-on-shirt look was back.

"Yeah, uh, is there a problem which me living here?"

"You realise that you live in a palace right?"

"It's not a palace, Swan, it's a mansion."

A mansion. Oh of course. Just a fucking mansion.

_Smug prick._

"Oh only a mansion, sorry, my mistake."

And then the front door opened.

"Edward, I'm meeting your parents today, aren't I."

I knew I looked like I was panicking. I was fucking panicking. This was Edward's parents.

"Calm thoughts, Swan. Go to your happy place."

That didn't help. My happy place as of late had been involved with my best friends dick. The same best friend that was sitting beside me in his stupid car, with his stupid sexy face, and was about to force me into meeting his parents.

Shit.

So not helping.

"Bells, they're only my parents. Come on, I met Charlie, and that was all cool. Mom and Dad will love you."

I pressed my hands to my head and tried to calm myself down.

"Okay, just your parents. Just your parents. It's all good."

"Yeah that's it. My parents. Nothing bad about that."

"Nope, nothing at all."

"And my twin, don't forget Alice."

"As if I could."

"My parents, my twin, my house."

"So not helping"

He giggled and I narrowed my eyes at him.

"I hate you, you got that."

"I love you too Bella."

And now I have butterflies.

_I am so fucked._

Before I knew it, Edward was opening my door for me and helping me out of his car, and I was being enveloped by a squealing midget.

_Holy shit she was tiny._

"Bella! Oh my God I have been so excited about meeting you I mean I feel like I know you already because of how much Edward and Jazz talk about you and of course I've been having all these visions about you and-"

Edward clamped a hand over her mouth.

"Breathe pixie."

Alice rolled her eyes at Edward and took an over-exaggerated breath once he'd taken his hand off her mouth.

Seeing those two together was weird as hell. She really was Edward's twin, there was no denying it. Despite the differences in height and hair colour, they were incredibly alike. Alice's inky cropped hair lay in the same kind of tousled mess as Edwards. She had the same startling shade of jade green eyes, framed by beautifully long dark eyelashes. They both had the same cute nose, high cheekbones and perfectly angular jaw line.

I think I was developing a girl crush.

They were both staring at me and I realised that I hadn't yet said a single word.

"It's great to meet you Alice," I answered lamely.

She grinned and took mine and Edward's hand in her own and skipped up the front steps, dragging us behind her. Stood on the porch, just off the top step, was the most beautiful couple I'd ever laid eyes on. I'm serious, these two knocked Brad and Angelina right off the radar.

What the fuck is it with this family and being pretty?

I think I must have said that aloud because suddenly they all start giggling, before busting out in full blown laughter, and then I had Daddy DILF's arm around my shoulders.

"So this is the Bella we've been hearing about endlessly." He smiled down at me, his forget-me-not blue eyes twinkling.

My knees went weak. No wonder Edward was stunning. His dad was sex on a stick.

"Guilty." I grinned up at him, barely resisting the urge to attach my tongue to his jaw.

"Well you're right Edward," The beautiful woman that was so obviously Edward's mother, given that she shared his hair colour, "She is gorgeous."

I blushed.

Edward had said I was gorgeous?

I glanced over at him and noticed that his cheeks were pink and he was frowning at his mother.

"Mom! Not cool!"

She grinned at him evilly before winking at me. She rolled her eyes and wrapped her arms around me.

"Well seeing as I've embarrassed the manners out of my son, I'm Esme," She gestured to her husband, "This is Carlisle, and we don't put up with any of that 'Mr and Mrs Cullen' bullshit. Okay?"

I was officially in love with Edward's family.

* * *

**AN: Yeah and that's where I get too drunk to carry on. And by that I mean, this is where I have to stop before I write a whole dirty Cullen family/Bella orgy or some shit. Because as awesome as that would be, it totally does not work with the storyline. **

**So what's up my pretties? No reviews on the last chapter, but a few story alerts/faves and a couple of fave author alerts. That made me happy. But reviews would be great, I mean, I'm not gonna beg for them and I sure ain't gonna withold chapters. I'm just saying that it would be nice. Eventhough I know this whole fic is a mess. I need to stop drinking and writing. Actually I just need to stop drinking. It's an expensive habit and I swear I fell asleep on a resignation letter from my liver. Uh just bear with me guys, we have a fair bit of ground to cover with this fic, we have a long way to go before we come near the prologue.**

**Anyway guys, I have to go be drunk somewhere. Later my loves.**


	11. Sick Muse

**AN: Yay for 2 new reviews and lots of story faves/alerts going on. Makes for a happy Kim! Thanks to all that like this random shizzle.  
Oh and I'm just gonna say thank you to Miacakes for the awesome review, and well...generally being pretty awesome actually :)**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight, would I have spent my Friday afternoon being hung-over, watching the film with Matt and Rach and mentioning**** how BEAUTIFUL Robert Pattinson is every time he came on screen? No. I would have been able to pay someone to be hung-over for me. But I do own the storyline of this fic. Mine all mine.**

* * *

Sick Muse

_You wrote the song I wanna play, I'll write you a harmony 'C'._

* * *

Our little porch party was interrupted by Emmett bursting through the front door and staring at us like we were all retards.

"You guys gonna stand out there or get your asses in here? Oh, hey Bells."

He bounded up to me and scooped me up in one of his signature bear hugs, nearly crushing my ribs in the process. I knew better by now than to struggle and whine about the rib crushing, it only made things worse. Emmett happened to find shit like that amusing. Once he'd let me go, Edward casually slung his arm around my shoulders and we all made our way through to the entrance hall. Fucking entrance hall.

_Fuck Edward and his posh house._

Esme led us all into the kitchen, where we found Rose and Jasper having a heated argument about something. Edward rolled his eyes while Alice skipped over to Jazz and slipped her tiny arms around him.

"She'll win the argument babe, so you may as well drop it."

Emmett snickered as Rose's expression became triumphant, and Carlisle murmured something about not needing psychic abilities to know that. I realised then that I had absolutely no idea what the whole situation with the Cullen's and The Hale's was. I'd never thought to ask, and no-one had really offered up the information. The families seemed familiar with each other, and Rose and Jazz looked at home in the Cullen's kitchen. I resolved to ask Edward when we were alone.

A tray of chocolate and orange cookies mystically appeared in Esme's hand and she was suddenly mobbed by four overgrown and hyperactive boys. It was actually funny as fuck to see Doctor DILF jumping up and down excitedly at the prospect of cookies. Even funnier when Edward stole the cookie he'd just picked up, deliberately licked it and then gave it back to his father. I actually thought Carlisle was going to cry, or throw a tantrum. I was honestly trying not to asphyxiate myself from laughing too hard, but Alice and Rose looked nonplussed, like this was business as usual.

"Hey, they always like this?"

Alice looked up at me and rolled her eyes exaggeratedly.

"It's like feeding time at the zoo. It doesn't help that Edward and Dad are total retards and have to try and piss each other off all the time."

Rose just smirked at the scene before us before turning to wink at me, leaning in to whisper in my ear.

"So how badly do you wanna tap Doctor Feelgood?"

I pretended to fan my face and swoon, causing Rose to giggle and choke out a knowing 'I know right'. Alice watched our little performance, her nose all wrinkled up in distaste.

"You two are disgusting, quit drooling over my dad."

Me and Rose just snickered at her, before a voice interrupted us.

"Drooling over dad huh?"

I choked while Rose just laughed harder and Alice cracked a smile. I looked up at Edward and felt my face flare up in a heated blush. His eyebrows raised up as he took in my flushed cheeks, and he nodded.

"Figures."

Before I had time to process what he meant by that, we were joined by the rest of the family and the rest of the cookies. Edward slumped into the chair beside me and scowled at the surface of the table. It reminded me horribly of the incident in the cafeteria on our first day, and I knew I had to snap him out of whatever funk he was in. I hesitantly reached for his hand and covered it with my own. He looked at it momentarily but didn't make any other move. The rest of the family were all happily chatting to each other and not paying us any attention, so I made a snap decision. Alice caught my eye and grinned, obviously having seen what I was planning.

"Do it," She mouthed at me, before returning to her conversation with Jasper.

I shifted my chair as close to Edward's as I could, before leaning up and licking all along the shell of his ear. He jumped and his hand flew up to his ear to rub off my saliva.

"Ew! Bella!"

He looked thoroughly disgusted as he frowned at me before dissolving into hopeless giggles. Of course that just set me off giggling, and soon the Cullen's and Hale's looked at us like we were nuts as we clutched at each other and cried with laughter. We started to calm down when Edward hiccupped, which just set us both off again. Eventually we both calmed down from our fit of amusement, both of us rubbing at our sides.

"My ribs hurt like a bitch now, Swan."

I nodded in agreement and winced as I tried to sit up properly.

"Um, you two gonna share that joke with the class, 'cause it sounded like a good one?" Jasper drawled, his eyebrows raised at us.

Edward shrugged and I smirked.

"Cullen was being a douche."

"And Swan is disgusting."

"Don't pretend you didn't love it."

Edward leered at me and wiggled his eyebrows before biting his lip and doing an incredibly fuck-hot cum-face. I literally had to bite back a longing moan.

"Oh Swan, I may have to revisit your pillows."

I sniggered at him before pretending to be grossed out.

"You're so disgusting."

"You so wanna watch."

"Not gonna lie, Edward, not gonna lie."

I smirked at him, coaxing out his sexy crooked smirk.

I noticed Alice stiffen in my peripherals, breaking my gaze with Edward, I looked over at her and noticed that she was completely stiff and her eyes were unfocused. Nobody else looked concerned by it, so I assumed that this was normal. Sure enough, a few moments later Alice's eyes regained focus and she smiled brightly. She peered up at Edward, a devious smirk on her mouth.

"I'm onto you Cullen."

* * *

**AN: I haven't read over it, so I actually have no idea what I just wrote. But I am sober for once, Yay! I don't really have anything to add...for once...so um..REVIEW :)**


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